


Stay With Me

by ItsYaBoiKeith (PetalsAndPurity)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Neglect, James Centric, James Griffin (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) Angst, M/M, Minor Adam/Shiro (Voltron), it's there but it's not the main focus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 23:36:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20882540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetalsAndPurity/pseuds/ItsYaBoiKeith
Summary: James turned on his heel to swiftly make a retreat, but before he could, Keith rushed over and gripped onto his arm tightly, dark eyes boring into James's. "Why do you hate me so much?" He had asked, his fingers digging into James's arm, determined not to let him escape.James's eyes flickered to the bruise blossoming on Keith's cheek, like a blotch of ink on paper. His stomach dropped and he felt guilt lodge itself deep within his throat. He struggled to speak, to find an answer that didn't lead him to spilling out his guts between them."You have everything I don't," James said, the truth falling out and baring witness for everyone to see(Or: everyone James gets close to in life always seems to leave).





	Stay With Me

The deafening sound of the rain and the thunder raging on above wasn't enough to muffle the sound of his own heart breaking. 

James raced down the street, passing shops with bars across their darkened windows, flickering streetlights and graffiti-smothered bus stops, his hooded face pointed towards the cracked concrete pavement. He didn't know where he was going - he'd been walking for days (though he knew in reality it was only half an hour at most) and he no longer recognised this side of the city. 

His eyes were sore. His throat burned. Tears still seared his cheeks and his lips were bleeding from biting it too hard. He was cold; tired; and most of all, he was _alone._

Alone all because of a stupid fight at school that had lead to an even bigger fight at home. The fight at home had lead to James packing a bag of necessities and running away - unsure as to whether he preferred the new attention, or simply being ignored and forgotten. 

He wasn't sure why it hurt so much. There was never a moment that James's parents resented him, were disappointed in him. Surely after experiencing so many shakes of the head, so many nights alone in his room with an empty stomach, of calling goodnight or asking for help on his recent piece of homework to be met with silence, he'd become used to it.

He'd thought the burning in his chest would have numbed, but instead, it continued to grow, almost unbearably so.

He'd reached the part of town where the buildings filtered out to desert, and the sky was clear and broadcasting the glistening galaxies above. What was once a source of comfort to his lonely nights stuck in his room and trying to muffle out screams and yells from his parents downstairs with his palms, became a source of rage. 

A rage because the stars represented his future - he wanted to go up to space and explore, get as far away from the earth, his family, his worries, as possible. but his feet were stuck firmly on the ground, and they were millions upon millions of miles out of reach, drifting ever-further with each throb and swell of his jaw. 

He heard a distant, low rumble, and a surge of panic went through him - had his parents gone looking for him? He darted out of the way, hiding in the shadows, as two hover bikes raced past him, parking up near the cliff edge. 

There, under the luminescent glow of the streetlamp, its bright light almost surreal against the light o the moon, two figures dismounted, and James felt his stomach sink.

Not just at the fact that it wasn't his parents - that they hadn't cared to go looking for him, but also because there was Keith Kogane, the boy who was the cause of the throbbing of his jaw. 

It had been a mistake - James's father had offhandedly told him that he wasn't going to get anywhere with his _attitude_ (he'd asked his father if they could please, _please_ get some milk after pouring the soured, lumpy carton they'd had in the fridge and promptly ruining his first breakfast in...well, a while.) It had left him in a foul mood, and he was terrified of messing up and proving his father right. 

When Keith had caused them all to be screamed at by Iverson and banned from using the simulator, he'd just..._snapped_, because he was _sure_ his chances at becoming a pilot had been blown apart.

An offhanded comment about how Keith, star pilot, one of Takashi Shirogane's (James's hero) favourite students - most _definitely_ had his mother and father crooning over his every move. They must've been proud to have the son who was the best pilot in the garrison - he'd heard how much the teachers marvelled at his skills despite his disciplinary issues. Shiro had even thought Keith so great, that he'd completely dismissed James when he was introduced as the star student in favour for him. 

He was fuelled with envy, and little did he know he'd struck a nerve in Keith. Enough for the smaller boy to start a brawl.

And now? Because of Keith, he was likely never to become a pilot. That was on his _record_, his parents had been called and the only reason he'd been allowed to stay was because it was so out of character for him. Yet Keith, who had instigated the fight, who had caused so many fights so many times before, also stayed with little punishment. All because of _Shiro._

Shiro, who, no matter how well James flew or how close he was to getting 100% on their latest assignment, never even _noticed_ him. 

And here he was, with Keith, teaching him how to fly, them both laughing and smiling. 

Keith most definitely had everything; a perfect family, an amazing mentor, grades and skills James would _kill_ for.

And James? James had a bruise on his jaw and merely the view of the stars above to keep him company.

-

The bell tolled and James let out a heavy sigh, gathering his papers and pens together. Keith had rushed out the room the second the bell had rang, perfect graded essay scrunched up in his hands. James's mere 70% still lay on the table, grade covered strategically by his notebook, but still not enough to make him forget of his failure. 

"Don't forget to check out Mr. Shirogane's simulator classes tomorrow in fourth period!" Mr. Wright had called, cleaning his glasses on the sleeve of his jacket as everyone rushed out the room. James had tried to follow, keeping his head low.

"Mr. Griffin, can I have a word?"

James's stomach flipped and he stopped, students bashing against his shoulders as they passed by, chattering loudly amoungst themselves. All too soon, the room had fallen to silence save for the ticking clock just above the projector.

"Yes, sir?" He finally asked, voice stumbling slightly as he gripped the handle of his bag tightly. _This was it, the final straw. Slipping grades and a fight in the same month? There's no way such a prestigious school would keep a dead weight like him. _

"Is everything alright?" Adam had asked quietly, brows furrowed in concern. "You're, well, I'm sure you know that you're not performing to your usual standards lately, and what with that fight with Keith recently, I was just...wondering if everything was okay."

James stayed silent, fists clenched, trying to stop his hands from shaking. _They don't want him here. He's messed everything up - he's proved them right. He is a failure-_

"Because, you know," Adam took James's silence as an incentive to continue. "You can always talk to me if you have a problem, right?"

"Y-Yes, sir. I know, sir," James mumbled. "I just...I didn't understand this module very well." It was true, though James could have taught himself, he wasn't in the right state of mind to study. He just couldn't _concentrate._" 

"Well, if you're struggling, you could always try getting together with Keith. He's gotten full marks on this exam so he'll know what he's talking about-"

Hot rage filled James so quickly he didn't know what to do with it. Adam was just rubbing salt into the wound, reminding James of how perfect Keith was and how much of a _failure_ he was. 

"I don't need him!" James snapped all too quickly.

"James, what is going on between you and Keith?"

"Nothing! Just leave me alone!" For the first time, James found himself storming out of the classroom, the door slamming shut behind him.

-

James found Keith in the lunch hall, picking at a sandwich all by himself, pressed up into the corner. The fire in James's chest continued to roar, demanding him to confront Keith, to settle this dispute once and for all. 

Only, before James could open his mouth, Keith beat him to it, just like he beat him at _everything_ else. 

"What is your problem with me?" Keith had asked, rising slowly to his feet. Though his voice was unexpectedly calm, it was like gasoline to the fire already burning in James.

"_You_," he spat, his words sputtering from his lips like sparks. "I _hate_ you! You're just a waste of space in this class! No one - _no one_ \- would care or notice if you disappeared!" He pushed Keith back with every sentence.

Maybe his words were childish. Maybe they were more of a projection than a criticism. Maybe James didn't mean the half of what had spewed from his mouth. But Keith didn't know that. His eyes narrowed and he shoved James roughly back.

"I think you're just jealous." 

"I'm _not_ jealous!" James threw his fist at Keith, and Keith's fist flew back. In a flurry of limbs and shouts they crashed to the ground, where they brawled until teachers managed to pry them apart. James's heels scraped against the ground as he was tugged away from Keith, a harsh voice shouting in his ear.

In front of him, Shiro had rushed onto the scene, barely giving James anything but a brief glare before placing a gentle, reassuring hand onto Keith's shoulder.

-

James could hear muffled voices on the other side of the wall. He hadn't bothered listening in at first, merely staring dumbly at the peeling posters on the wall opposite. That was, until he heard his name mentioned and Adam's voice raise. 

"-A good kid! You _can't_ suspend James, sir! He's one of our top students!"

"He provoked _and_ punched Keith in the face," Shiro had said in reply, his tone so bitter James flinched.

"Oh, and Keith is completely innocent?" Adam growled. "Sir, neither of them should be suspended or...or excluded. Yes, this is the second time this month and James's grades have slipped recently but I really think if we just sit down and talk to him we'll have a better outcome than just dishing out a punishment."

"Adam, if I let these two boys off the hook, I will have to let everybody who comes in here off the hook, you know that."

"He can spend his suspension in my class. I'll help him get his grades back up and try and find out what is causing him to act out. _Please_, sir - it's what Shiro did for Keith."

-

Over the coming weeks of spending hours on end in the same classroom, on the same desk in front of Adam's chair, he noticed his teacher become more and more solemn and withdrawn. 

One day - on the fifth lunch time in a row that Mr. Shirogane had failed to turn up and spend lunch with both James and Adam - Adam decides that James is allowed to get some 'fresh air' at lunch. As he passed out the door, Shiro was hovering around the entrance to the classroom, wringing his sleeves and rubbing his wrist, pacing back and forth. James ignored him for favour of finding the steps to the roof of the building. 

He didn't quite feel like going to the canteen or out on the grounds to be the subject of everyone's gossip - or at least, _hear_ himself be the subject of everyone's gossip. The roof was strictly out of bounds, for students and teachers alike - only the occasional handyman or engineer using them to fix whatever they kept up there. James had never been up there before, but he guessed that now being labelled a delinquent by the majority of the staff at the Garrison now, he'd live up to his name.

The soft winter breeze made James shiver as he climbed up onto the roof, his boots clipping against the concrete as he took a deep breath, savouring the crisp air in favour for the stuffiness of Adam's classroom after being filled with students for the entirety of the morning.

James froze at teh sight of another figure sitting upon the roof, teeth gritting at the sight of that horrible red jacket. He just _had_ to steal _everything_ from James - his top spot in the class, his hero, the final sliver of respect that his parents had for him - and now, the one place that he thought he could find _peace_ and time to _think._

Before he can retreat and escape, try and find somewhere else to hide until the bell rang and he'd have to meet up with Adam, Keith turned. 

James turned on his heel to swiftly make a retreat, but before he could, Keith rushed over and gripped onto his arm tightly, dark eyes boring into James's. "Why do you hate me so much?" He had asked, his fingers digging into James's arm, determined not to let him escape. 

James's eyes flickered to the bruise blossoming on Keith's cheek, like a blotch of ink on paper. His stomach dropped and he felt guilt lodge itself deep within his throat. He struggled to speak, to find an answer that didn't lead him to spilling out his guts between them. 

"You have everything I don't," James said, the truth falling out and baring witness for everyone to see. Keith's grip loosened, but James didn't take his chance to escape. Instead, he lowered his head, looked between their scuffed and dirtied shoes. Keith's were caked in mud and falling apart, his own not faring any better.

"But I have nothing," Keith whispered, and for a moment, silence weighed heavy between them. The distant ring of the bell sounded, but neither made an effort to move to get back to class.

The silence became too heavy, suffocating, and James choked and couldn't breathe, couldnt _believe_ what he was hearing-

"No! You're lying! You have Shiro, you have the best grades in the class, you have caring parents and-"

-And Keith laughed. A sad, bitter sound. It was familiar, a sound he'd heard fall from his own lips many times.

"_Had._" Was all Keith said.

James looked to Keith, saw the darkness in his eyes become impossibly darker.

"What?"

"I _had_ caring parents. Or a caring parent. My dad died, my mom left." Keith shrugged, as though he was merely stating facts. The crack in his voice told otherwise. "And what good are the best grades in class when everyone hates you for it?"

"But you-" James shook his head. "I don't understand-"

"You don't understand how you were jealous of someone like me? Me neither." Keith let out a bitter laugh. "Actually, I'm..." His face scrunched up. "I'm kinda...jealous of you. People _like_ you."

And James felt so _guilty,_ because here was a boy with no parents, while James complained about his own, wished he himself didn't have any, when in reality, it was agonising for people like Keith. 

"I'm sorry," James whispered.

"It's okay."

"No. I don't have - my mom and dad _hate me_, but...god, I can't complain, not when you...when you don't even _have any-" _James cut off at the feeling of a hand slipping into his, and he looked up to see Keith giving him a small, saddened smile. 

"James, it's okay. Please don't feel guilty about it."

The hand gave his own a short squeeze. James tugged him forward and pulled him into a hug, where they stayed, for the rest of the afternoon, skipping out on class and bitching about their lives, with each rant the weight on their shoulders getting just a little lighter.

-

It had been months since then. Both James and Keith spent their lunchtimes on the rooftop together, and the rest of their time apart, pretending their vastly growing friendship never existed. 

While they grew closer, James noticed how Shiro and Adam were growing further apart. James stayed every day after class to study, desperately trying hard to avoid home after his parents were called a second time about his fight. In that time, Shiro would occasionally try to enter the classroom, only for Adam to get to his feet and swiftly leave the classroom. No matter whether he was in the middle of explaining a problem to James, or marking a stack of test papers, it always ended with the same result, leaving Shiro stranded at the door, watching Adam's retreating form with a solemn gaze.

Then, Shiro had stopped appearing all together. Keith had explained that Shiro had left to go on a mission; Project Kerberos, it was called. Between mouthfuls of the extra sandwich James had packed (Shiro wasn't around anymore to make Keith's lunch, so James took the duty upon himself), Keith babbled on excitedly about all the details that Shiro had clearly told him on their nightly hover bike rides, his eyes sparkling with awe. 

Shiro was up there, inspace, doing what they'd both always dreamed of. 

A few months after the Kerberos mission had began, Keith had almost knocked James onto his ass int he hall after bursting out of the headmasters office, the gruff shout of his name swiftly following. 

"Keith?!" James shot to his feet, following after him. "Keith, wait!"

"Leave me the fuck alone!" Keith whirled around, his fist smacking into James's nose. Red splattered over the tiles on the floor. The headmaster, Iverson grabbed roughly onto the collar of Keith's uniform, his eye clamped shut and bleeding. 

"Wright! Get this brat _out_ of school property! He's no longer a part of this school!"

Adam, now looking so frail, his eyes rimmed with red, glasses slightly steamed up, quickly grabbed Keith by the shoulder. He muttered something in Keith's ear, and Keith fell slack, shoulders shaking as he trembled, tears dribbling down his cheeks as he was dragged out of the school. 

And James? He stayed there, on his knees in the middle of the hall, blood dribbling onto the tiles, red mingling with the white.

Red. Everything was _red._

-

Adam had quit soon after.

He'd done it in the middle of class, while talking through what had happened in Kerberos - a pilot error, _Shiro's error._ He could barely get through the second presentation slide, knuckles white as he clutched the desk Shiro used to lean up against every lunch time, wearing a jacket that was clearly a size too big, _clearly_ had different badges to the ones Adam had earned. 

He'd stopped mid sentence, legs shuddering, and James was already half out his chair, worried his teacher was going to collapse. He'd torn the report in half, watched as the two pieces drifted apart and slid onto the flood. He stared at it, droplets falling onto his hands - tears. 

He'd taken a deep breath, muttered: "I'm sorry, everyone. I can't do this." And left. The next person to enter the room was Iverson himself, now with a patch over his eye, a new, fresh report in his hands as he began to read it out, as though Adam had never been there in the first place.

James had been left alone. _Again._

-

The sound of the wind rushing against his ears was all he could hear, the low hum of the engine of the hover bike thrumming through him. Dust from the desert collected onto the goggles he wore and stung his cheeks. He rode and rode, hoping if he went far enough, he could escape the world that he'd become enslaved to. 

Keith and Adam may have well been on the Kerberos mission alongside Shiro, for they'd both completely disappeared from James's life. He was once again alone, sitting atop of the roof by himself, the wind filling the silence as he reminisced the times that he and Keith would laugh so much over such trivial things that their stomachs would hurt and they'd be red in the face. After school he'd sit in an empty classroom, trying to struggle through the trickier questions on homework by himself until he's kicked out by the school cleaners.

In Keith's absence, he'd become the top of the class, but he couldn't even feel an ounce of happiness over it. He felt like he'd cheated, that he didn't actually deserve to be at the top. _Keith_ should be there, he'd heard teachers in the halls mumbling how he could easily become the best pilot of their generation, and yet he would never fulfil the title because he was _gone._

Submerged in his thoughts, he'd hardly noticed he'd driven farther than usual, that he'd ended up in a part of the desert that he'd never seen before. he couldn't bring himself to care, merely picking up speed, the wind howling and battering at his goggles as the swelling sun began to fall behind the horizon, bathing his surroundings in red.

Red, like the hover bike soaring across the same horizon the sun was sinking behind. 

He vaguely recognised the model. Something tugged in his chest and he picked up speed to follow.

As soon as the red hover bike noticed James was following, it picked up in pace and they ended up racing through the desert. James should have taken that as the person not wanting to be found - should have stopped and turned back home, but he _didn't_, he couldn't, because he'd seen that bike before, the red - it was familiar, and James felt hope begin to bloom in his chest, and he couldn't let _go._

Eventually, the bike stopped off at a wooden shack. The bike swooped round and the figure hopped off, falling into a defensive stance and tugging out a knife.

James stopped and climbed off the bike, holding his hands out in surrender, breath catching in his throat at the sight of the black mullet under the goggles. 

"Who are you?!" The rider growled. "What do you want from me?!"

James said nothing, merely lifted the goggles from his face.

The knife fell to the ground with a soft chink. James almost stumbled onto the floor at the force the figure ran into him, wrapping his arms around him so tightly he felt as though he might split into two.

-

Since then, after class, James would ride his hover bike into the desert to watch the sunset with Keith. They would find a cliff to sit at, and they'd sit together. Keith would talk about a strange feeling in his chest, how he felt permanently unsettled, like he had to get up and _search_, as though something was missing and he had to look for it. 

"I think being cooped up all on your own is driving you crazy," James muttered, drawing in the sand, his other hand lingering on Keith's knee.

"No. This is different. I...I can't explain it. It's like an energy...somethings calling to me. I can't...you wouldn't understand." He sighed with a shake of his head.

"I don't," James said, "but I believe you." At that, Keith smiled and placed a hand atop of James's.

"Thank you." Both boys inched a little closer to one another as the wind blasted them with another chill. 

Keith played with James's fingers, resting them in his lap, his hair ruffling in the wind, face flickering with red from the sunset. 

"I miss you," James found himself blurting out. "I'm at the top of the class now but...it's not right."

"I miss you too. And flying. I don't miss Iverson, though," Keith chuckled, his breath tickling James's cheek and spurting out in milky clouds around them.

They sat for what felt like an eternity, watching the sun set, until they can barely see it, the sky bathed in a dark, rich red. James untangled his hand from Keith's and got to his feet. Keith swiftly followed, a frown and question on the tip of his tongue. 

James beat him to it. "I've gotta go. It's getting late."

"Stay, please-"

"I can't," James shook his head. "My parents would..." His parents might not notice that James had disappeared, and it would _kill_ him if he found out that was true.

Keith's expression fell. "That's okay. I just...can you come back? It's lonely out here."

"You always ask." James placed a hand in Keith's. "And the answer's always the same. Of _course_ I'll come back. I'll always be here, Keith."

Keith managed a smile. He parted his lips as though to speak, but instead his hand came to the back of James's neck, pulling him forward until he's falling, falling into Keith's chest. 

And Keith kissed him, while the world around them burned. 

-

Every day, after that, James sat in darkness on the clifftop, waiting. 

Waiting because ever since the raid happened, and three students from his class had gone _missing,_ Keith had gone missing, too.

_I'll always come back. I'll always be here, Keith._

Why did no one ever do the same?

**Author's Note:**

> Part two will hopefully be out within a week ;)
> 
> Tumblr: https://tumblingoverboard.tumblr.com/
> 
> Twitter: https://twitter.com/ItsYaBoiKeith_


End file.
